June 15, 2022

They say people change people. This is something I felt before, but never expected it to happen to me. After abandonment after abandonment by former friends that I thought would be there for me through thick and thin. And the 250 messages I got form Facebook friends and people I didn’t even know after I made the front page of the local garbage newspaper, that ranged from comment of how horrible of a person I am, that hey hope I rot in hell, and that my favorite that I should just kill myself to rid the world of a horrible person. These events made me doubt people and took my trust level to an all time high. Little did I know at 11:00 AM April 20, 2022, my view would be altered in a way that I could not foresee. As I sat waiting for this complete stranger that was going to be my therapist to come onto the video chat, I felt anxiety and fear, I didn’t want to let anyone in, I planned to keep my wall so no one could get in. Then everything changed, this young female came onto the screen, you could tell she was equally as nervous. But then she asked about my favorite foods and favorite movies. After some small talk about our answers, I could tell this person was different from all those that had destroyed me, not because it was her job, but because she generally cared and wanted to remove any anxiety, we both had for our first meeting.

Back to my original statement about people changing people. Over the month to two months, I have begun feeling like a different person and I thought it was just because of getting on the correct medication. But that notion changed complete today shortly into my therapy session. I am not just a different person because a medication change, I am different person because I had someone that is sweet, compassionate, caring, and willing to relate by divulging about themself and someone that truly has the kindest soul I have ever meet in my life. She has truly changed my outlook on life and given me a strength I never knew I had to deal with all the negative that comes my ways and the strength to handle all the abandonment of friendships I have faced. So, I have decided I don’t care what people say or think, I am going to try to tell her how she changed me and complement her on her positive qualities that has changed me as a person. In some small way I hope that I can change people in even the smallest way by sharing my personal view of the qualities that have truly saved my life. Every suicidal thought I have is quickly dispatched by a simple thought of the one kind soul that has showed me compassion when no one else was willing to.

So, will you be someone that changes the life of another for the better? You may just be the person that truly saves someone’s life. Be kind and caring to those in your life and support those you hold close through all of life’s ups and downs. Never abandon someone going through a struggle because you will one day have a struggle of your own and wish some would support you and show compassion.