Being a Suicide Attempt Survivor

Being a Suicide Attempt Survivor

Not until recently I was able to come to grips and admit to people that I have attempted suicide three times in my life. It was something I always held closely and under lock and key. I didn’t want to be judged or looked gone upon by others. My hardest suicide attempt to come to grips with was my second suicide attempt, suicide by hanging. This suicide attempt people knew I was going through a struggle and with this attempt I had marks to show what I had done. At first, I was able to downplay the marks on my neck as marks from shaving. Gradually people started to figure it out and this is when my suicide attempt which was already hard to grasps became even harder to grasp. I remember when the first two people figured it out and there first response was, I am selfish. Then came the next response that I am manipulative and attention seeking. This suicide attempt was related to an girlfriend that cheated on me and destroyed me mentally. So, I remember a few people telling me I got what I deserved both from her cheating and my mental state. The final unique response because many echoed the responses of others, was that I was a failure and that the nurse that was my coworker would teach me how to do it properly next time.

Being a suicide attempt survivor is extremely hard because society is full of stereotypes and stigmas that degrade and devalue the struggles people go through with mental health. Instead of view a suicide attempt as an unanswered call for help, many people view it was a failure on the attempters part. Whether it be a failure to do it properly or a failure to control their mental health. Showing weakness is too often viewed as a negative thing, when in actuality it is a great strength.