Failure

FAILURE!!!! That is what my twisted broken mind tells me I am on my worst days, the days where I am depressed and am unable to find joy in anything I do. Failure comes from my failed attempts to end my life, and not be in the situation I am in with feeling my life in pointless and that there is no happiness in sight and no happy ever after in my future. The days when I see someone that used to be a friend and they completely act like I don’t exist or worse when they acted like I am beneath them are the days that I tell myself if only you would have been a successful person instead of a failure you wouldn’t be having to experience all these lows. Man do I wish I would have never made the biggest mistake of my life and been able to become a nurse and help others, like I used to love to do. One day I hope I get to feel the high, that truly allow me to tell myself, this is why you were a failure.