June 22, 2022

Today was a great mental health day, I was a little bummed in the morning that I had a message from my therapist that today’s session would be telehealth and not in person. But I understood and decided to make the best of it. Truly though there is nothing like in person meetings with her because for that one I am in an environment away from the judgement of the world and in an environment of caring and compassion and kindness. While I have felt like she never judges and looks down upon me, I have always hidden my biggest secret from her because of my internal embarrassment. That secret being before out first meeting I never planned to be alive after that weekend. But her demeaner and desire and overall kindness made me decide to place my plan on hold for another week. Week after week I pushed my plan back another week because of my one-hour meetings each week with her and her interactions with me. Eventually, I decided to put a permanent hold on my plan to commit suicide. I still get suicidal thought, but those are just thought that I battle back with, with thoughts of her amazing, beautiful soul and her grace and mercy. It is because of this that I have decided to take the idea from the Gratitude Experiment and type up my own letter of gratitude to her. I fear she will find it weird or creepy, creepy because that is how every compliment or statement of gratitude had ever been perceived. I would always be told I was a whore that flirted with everyone because apparently it is a crime to be a nice person. Overall, typing it has increased my happiness and I hope it will be the same the next therapy session with Lauren when I read it to her.

Gratitude is a amazing thing and expressing it to someone that you are truly grateful for in your life whether it be your mom, father, sister, brother, friend, or in my case my therapist will increase your overall happiness. Just penning it out will increase your happiness, but the true gain in happiness comes from sharing it with someone because you are not only increasing your happiness, but you are also increase their happiness. It is an amazing thing to know that someone thinks highly of you. So give it a try yourself and tell someone you are truly grateful that they are in your life.

Here is a link to the YouTube video for the Gratitude experiment: (62) An Experiment in Gratitude | The Science of Happiness – YouTube