June 8, 2023

It has been nearly a week and a half since I got released from jail for burning my dad’s house down during a very difficult time with mental health with medications that were making my mental state worse rather than better. The week has been filled with lots of events including getting a new dog which I hope with help me get through my mental health struggle, getting on new medications, and spending time with family. Many people have asked how the transition is going for me. At first I felt like it was going great despite others telling me I seem off and depressed. Better employment is difficult to find, but I keep telling myself at least I currently have a job and tonight my dad was in my basement watching tv and came upstairs being he said he smelled something burning and wanted to make sure I wasn’t trying to burn my house down. So this made me truly ask myself am I doing okay.  When I truly thought about it I am not. Despite jail sucking I had a few people I played cards with and talked to and I miss that. Also in jail it didn’t matter how much my job sucked and how low level it was because I was getting out of jail for awhile five days a week. I also still get this feeling that everyone is judging by an event that occurred in my life despite it not being who I am.