Suicide: Selfish or Selfless

Is this post I want to discuss something near and dear to my heart, Suicide. Suicide in that it is not a selfish act like so many people think. Being a suicide attempt survivor, I know what it is like to get to that point and the thought going through your mind in the days leading up to the attempt along with the minutes and seconds leading up to the attempt. I personally feel the statement suicide being a selfish act is the most harmful statement about suicide. This statement criticized the person that attempted suicide and either was successful or survived, but also makes people be afraid to and paints a picture that the person is a horrible person. This statement is the furthest from the truth. Suicide is a selfless act. It is someone that reach such a horrible point in their life that they see their death as not hurting others but making the lives of others better. It is a period of someone being in such pain that they just want the pain to go away because it has created such a heavy burden that is too much to bear. It is a point where the individual feels their struggle is a burden for others. And finally, it is a point that the person is unable to see that others care and love them. So, no suicide is not selfish, and I will argue it everyday of the week with anyone. I personally feel those individuals that call it selfish and calls those that attempted or got close as selfish people is what has created such a stigma that people are unwilling to share their stories because they fear the added burden of societies labeling of suicide. I remember when I had my second attempt I got a lot of hatred from people that called me selfish and told me I was an attention seeker.

Let me be honest of where this post comes from. This post comes from my experience in group therapy. For the two week with a member of group therapy, I have been scrutinized for attempting suicide before and debated on the topic of it being a selfless act in my experience. Having lived through it three time I feel I have a decent understanding of suicide attempts. For the second week I have been told I was selfish, weak, and my favorite from this week, “Too dumb and lazy to seek help.” I don’t feel like someone that gets to the point of suicide is stupid. Having a mental illness does not make you stupid, having depression that can be debilitating at times does not make you stupid, having anxiety that renders you unable to function does not make you stupid. The thing that makes someone stupid in my eyes is to every use such a hurtful and devaluing term of “selfish.” Those that feel this way are the selfish ones. Without trying to devalue someone myself, I want to make the statement that anyone that has ever gotten to that point and survived, knows the thoughts going through your mind are not selfish, so for someone that states they have gotten to that point and says it is selfish, has truly never been to that point. 

For anyone that read this post and feels it is attacking or dishing another person, it is not. I have experienced the devaluing many times and have heard the devaluing of people that have mental illness and are suicide attempt survivors and those that were successful. One final statement from this person that sums up my point, was a comment about doing and impatient stay and how everyone around him were failures and someone he didn’t want to be. In my inpatient stay, the people around me were the most amazing people, understanding and empathetic. They gave me more insight and listened to my story better than any doctor or social worker I save my entire stay. These people were more willing to help me than anyone there.