October 21, 2022

Today was a mix of good and bad mental health moments. My day started out with feeling a little sad for no apparent reason, like is happening a lot to me lately. The day got a lot better when I went to my psychiatry appointment. Since I go to a county mental health agency, you start your appointment talking to a peer specialist. The peer specialist was extremely understanding and showed a lot of sympathy toward me when I was talking about the struggles, I have been going through with losing nursing school, having paranoia created by a former coworker talking my picture at Walmart and sending it to people, and just my general rollercoaster of emotions. It was nice to have someone be sympathetic toward me and not devalue my struggle. Next, I had the portion of my appointment with my psychiatrist. I truly have the most amazing psychiatrist, she is caring, compassionate, listens, never judges, generally wants to help, and most importantly never devalues me or my struggles. She truly has an amazing smile that instant brightens the mood and day. I love to express my gratitude toward her because it truly makes me feel great. She truly saved my life, by listening to me and getting me off the wrong medications and putting an end to my hyper manic state of being. The night hit a low when my friend texted me and told me that her daughter attempted suicide and was in the hospital. I truly empathize with her daughter and care a lot about her, and it truly broke my heart to know she was struggling. Her daughter has always been extremely nice to me and has never judged me. I pray for her daughter and her battle with her demons. I power though and checked on her last night and today, but the social anxiety in me makes me feel like a weirdo, nervous, and for some reason embarrassed when I check on her. I truly know the impact it has when someone cares so I will continue.