December 21, 2023

I’ve been away for a while with dealing with my mom’s suicide, the constant accusation by other’s of killing my mom, and the biggest mental health struggle I have ever been through. I will probably be gone for a while as I battle my mental health and look for the strength to have my voice back and to look not to the past, but to the future, a future where I can not only share my experience with mental health, but also share my experience in dealing with the loss of a loved one from suicide. This struggle I am going through is tough. I constantly feel I could have said something or anything to prevent my mom’s suicide. I feel as though the world will always view me as trash, with the attacks I received when my mom died. More people were worried about sharing my miss fortunes, accusing me of trying to raise money for my criminal activities, and worst of all saying I killed my mom. No one knows the true story or even cares about my side of the story of how her husband didn’t want to get police involved for 48 hours despite an accurate description of her in a news article on Facebook, or the fact that I took financial responsibility for her funeral even though I get no life insurance money, or that while waiting for the cops to come to my house that night that her husband constant said it wasn’t her and that she was having an affair. My mom was an amazing woman, that would do anything for anyone, but more of that to come as I gain my voice back and go head to head with the trolls. But I don’t want to leave you hanging so one quick memory of recent about my mom that ties to so many more. My uncle recently decided he wanted to collect mustard, maple syrup, and honey. So on her days off and often times after work she would travel looking for mustard to send him. IF you told my mom you wanted to be a collector of something, you better be prepared because she was going to make sure you had the best collection. Thank you to those who supported me in the past and to all those in the future as I hope to grow my website into something that can  both honor my mom and make a difference in someone’s life.