I am losing my therapist

I truly feel like my life is going to shit, but my only friend tells me that its just falling in to place. However, the facts point to it falling apart. First the fact that I lost nursing school, which was suppose to show the court that I am trying to make a positive life for myself, but as we know I lost that so that is now out the window. Next my lawyer told me to make sure I got my presentencing hearing completed with probation, well I finally got a hold of them, and they said the paper I filled out in court that had very limited space is what they are using for my presentencing interview. And now today the final nail in the coffin came as a double whammy, my therapist is leaving the day after my court hearing and her way of trying to ease the hurt was to say, “Let’s look at it the end of a chapter of your life.” Something my brain took to every extreme. First it was like a sign say the worst is soon to come and I will be spending the next ten years in prison. That put my already worried state into overdrive. Next her comment made me get feelings of abandonment because I spilled my heart and soul to this girl and now at the worst possible time she is leaving and I don’t know what the next therapist will be like. Finally her leaving felt like the third whammy in my life to complete the trifecta. Now on top of my despair and worry and suicidal thoughts I know have the feeling of losing someone important to me and feelings of sadness and resentment for opening up to someone that like everyone else abandons me when I need them most. MY medications are helping me survive for now, but I fear what happens when they no longer are effect because of abusing my medications to take away my pain. I am left asking myself why everyone leaves me when I need them most. And why does everyone I open up to and let in eventually end up hurting me. Will I ever want to truly opening up to another person for fear of them hurting me too.