October 20, 2022

Therapy today was alright. I got to discuss a lot of what is going on in my life, but I still felt devalued by her. She argued with me over the repressed memories I am having of past trauma that my mind suppressed and told me that they are just normal memories being caused by the stress in my life. Other than that, she used a majority of our time together to tell me about using “yes,… but” statements. For instance, “I feel ugly, but I can cut my hair.” Other than that she also argued with me over memories of experiences from my past and told me that my memories are not accurate accounts and they are just my mind making the situation worse than it truly was. A positive thing I further realized is that the thing motivating me to try to succeed is the idea of thanking Jessica in person one day for making such a huge impact in my life. This driving force reminds me a lot of my last huge struggle about 11 years ago, when my aunt was someone that always talked positively toward me no matter how bad thing seemed she always believed in me. Unfortunately, I never got to show her the positivity I was able to create in my life because she had passed away from cervical cancer before I was able to produce positivity.