Cherishing the Small Things

Everyone always says cherish the small things in life. For so long in my life I have failed to truly grasp that concept.  My mental health has always produced overwhelming anxiety and fear when small showed the slightest bit of niceness. My mind always told me that I wasn’t deserving of any kind of niceness even the smallest bit and my experience with bullying throughout my life always put the thought into my mind that when someone showed kindness toward me if was for a larger purpose of destroying my emotion and mental health. With my mind currently in a state of disarray I have lost the ability to no longer repress traumatic memories from the past and am not forced to tackle them. With these traumatic memories has good memories, memories from amazing people that have showed me kindness and niceness. The other day before therapy I was walking past a bridal shop where a woman was working, a woman who when I was in high school helped me pick up all my books off the floor after someone unzipped my backpack and through all my books on the floor. As I start to have to tackle trauma from my past, I have started to develop a sense of recognizing the small thing in my life that I truly have to be thankful for. I have not always been able to see the truly value and how much I truly cherish those moments. Tonight, a lady that I used to work with that still talks to me called me and we talked for over three hours. Afterwards, I realize how much I cherish her calling me and allowing me to feel like a human being by having someone willing to give up part of their life to call me on the phone to see how I am doing. While I loved and was thankful for the hug form Jessica the nurse, I never really thought about how much I cherished that moment and small gesture. I truly cherish Amanda and Jessica for being amazing people in my life. I am really starting to see the value in cherishing the small things in life because these things truly make a giant impact on my life and mental being. Thinking back on this past Wednesday when I went shopping with my mom, I cherished every store we went into because every store we were greeted by nice people that said Hi and asked how we were doing. While they were just doing their jobs, this made me a huge impact on my mental health for the just making me feel like a person, a person not being judged for my current struggles. In addition, I also cherished the time with my mom. It’s amazing how much small things can have huge impacts. In my current struggle with mental health, I feel the greatest mood boaster comes when I recognize and process small gesture from people in my life.